One Direction's 'Best Song Ever' concerns itself with a half-remembered song. "I think it went oh-oh-oh," they sing. "I think it went yeah-yeah-yeah".
There's a bit after that which doesn't really make much sense in which the band also claim that the song makes a sort of slowing-down noise but let's not overcomplicate things. The oh-oh-oh/yeah-yeah-yeah bit is the important part.
So naturally the hunt is on for the identity of this song-within-a-song, a sort of One Direction-meets-Inception affair. One Dinception, if youwill.
And we've drawn up a list of suspects.
Walk with us, people of the internet, through a series of oh-oh-ohs and yeah-yeah-yeahs.
Bruno Mars — 'Locked Out Of Heaven'
Qualifying lyric:
Oh oh oh oh, yeah, yeah,yeah
Can't I just stayhere
Spend the rest of my dayshere
Oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah,yeah
Could this be the best song ever discussed in 'Best SongEver'?
This is one of the more recent songs in our list of suspects and it seems possible that during the exhaustive 'writing process' that went into making this single the writers did indeed hear Bruno Mars. But it's significant, we feel, that this song includes "oh oh oh oh" rather than the triple-oh described by One Direction, and while there are of course three ohs in "oh oh oh oh" — and you might indeed argue that there are two sets of three ohs, one at the start and one at the end — there's the residual oh which is unaccounted for in One Direction's version of events.
GD & Top — 'OhYeah'
Qualifying lyric:
OH YEAH! (OH YEAH nan feelin' like)
OH YEAH! (OH YEAH jebal nal meomchujima)
OH YEAH! (OH OH OH MY MYMY)
OH YEAH! (OH YEAH) OH YEAH (YEAH YEAHYEAH)
Could this be the best song ever discussed in 'Best SongEver'?
We're not sure this song will have blipped its way onto One Direction's radar, and we're almost certain they wouldn't have been dancing to it. So it's ano.
Lenny Kravitz — 'FlyAway'
Qualifying lyric:
Let's fade into thesun
Let your spirit fly
Where we areone
Just for a little fun
Oh oh ohyeah
I want to getaway
I wanna flyaway
Yeah yeahyeah
Could this be the best song ever discussed in 'Best SongEver'?
This song is by Lenny Kravitz.
Hairspray — 'Welcome To The60s'
Qualifying lyric:
Welcome to the 60's
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,oh,
Heymama
Yeah, yeah,yeah,
Yeah, yeah,yeah
Could this be the best song ever discussed in 'Best SongEver'?
Again we have the problem with surplus ohs, although you might argue that a string of six ohs is actually one triple-oh followed by another. Even so, we think this song struggles to adequately fit thebill.
Little Mix — 'Doo Wop / Never LeaveYou'
Qualifying lyric:
Oh oh oh oh (yeah yeahyeah)
Oh oh oh oh (yeah yeahyeah)
Oh oh oh oh (yeah yeahyeah)
Oh oh oh oh (yeah yeahyeah)
Could this be the best song ever discussed in 'Best SongEver'?
There's a One Direction link here obviously so it's possible the 'boys' did hear it but this is a) a live song and b) a 'mashup' of two other songs, and the one that supplies the oh element is officially an uh-oh sort of song. So no, this is not the best songever.
Andrew Allen — 'Yeah (No)'
Qualifying lyric:
Only If I can be the guy that gave them bluesky
When I say yeah yeah yeah yeah would I sayyeah
Oh oh oh ohyeah
And now your holding onto the oneguy
Could this be the best song ever discussed in 'Best SongEver'?
Yes. (No.)
The 49ers — 'Touch Me'
Qualifying lyric:
Come on and touch me, touch me,touch
Come on and touch me, come on and comeon
Come on and touch me, touch me,touch
Come on and touch me yeah-eah-eah (yeah-yeah-yeah)
People can't understand it, oh yea-eah
People can't understand it, oh, oh,oh
People can't understand it, oh yeah-eah
People-people can't understand it, oh, oh,oh
Could this be the best song ever discussed in 'Best SongEver'?
This is a pretty triumphant song and the ohs and yeahs do appear in the required quantities. Also, as it was released in 1990, it's possible that One Direction danced to this at some sort of hipsteresque 90s-themed 'soirée'. We're not convinced, but it's possible that this is the best songever.
Midnight Star — 'Feels SoGood'
Qualifying lyric:
Yeah, yeah, yeah,yeah
(Oh) Oh, yeah, yeah, oh,yeah
(Oh) Oh, yeah, yeah, oh,yeah
You know it feel sogood
Could this be the best song ever discussed in 'Best SongEver'?
You'll see that the first two ohs are estranged from the third. In a tragic twist it's a pair of yeahs that push them apart. How many times have we all seen this happen, and done nothing?
Christina Aguilera — 'Just BeFree'
Qualifying lyric:
You're moving, you're moving
Oh, oh, oh yeah yeah yeah yeah,oh
Ooh ohh, no ohh, oh ooh ohh yeahyeah
Could this be the best song ever discussed in 'Best SongEver'?
This unreleased Christina song is a) sh*t and b) really sh*t so we're going to go for a 'not the best song ever' verdict here.
Alexandra Stan — 'Mr Saxobeat'
Qualifying lyric:
Oh Oh Oh Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah mmm yeahyeah
Oh Oh yeah mmm yeah yeah mmm yeah yeah mmm yeahyeah
Oh yeah mmm yeah yeah mmm yeah yeah mmm yeahyeah
Oh Oh yeah mmm yeah yeah mmm yeah yeah mmm yeahyeah
Mr SaxoBeat
Could this be the best song ever discussed in 'Best SongEver'?
We reckon that if this was in fact the song under discussion in 'Best Song Ever' One Direction would have included an "I think it went [HONKING SAX NOISE]" in their song, so while we are fans o' the Stan and are excited to hear her forthcoming musical output, we're sure this isn't the best songever.
Jimmy Nevis — 'Heartboxing'
Qualifying lyric:
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,oh…
When we're heartboxing, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, heartboxing
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,oh…
When we're heartboxing, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, heartboxing
Could this be the best song ever discussed in 'Best SongEver'?
Even if you say it's three triple-ohs in a row, you've still got an oh left over. Not the best songever.
Anastacia — 'In Summer'
Qualifying lyric:
Oh yeah, yeahyeah
I said I love you, I love you, I loveyou
Oh yes Ido
I truly loveyou
Hey yeah hey yeah heyyeah
Oh ohoh
Oh yeah heyyeah
Oh oh ohoh
I said now take me to the end forme
Yeah hey yeahyeah
Could this be the best song ever discussed in 'Best SongEver'?
Again, if One Direction had heard this song they would have said "hey yeah yeah" and "yeah hey yeah" in their song, which might actually have been slightly better than the comparatively facile "yeah yeah yeah" but it's too late to change it now because it's already had its world exclusive first play on [INSERT NAME OF EVERY RADIO STATION ON THE PLANET].
Nicole Scherzinger — 'Right There'
Qualifying lyric:
Come here baby and be mybaby
And be my baby oh ohoh
Come here baby put your hands on mybody
Hands on my body oh ohoh
Right there keep it rightthere
I love when you put it right there yeah yeahyeah
oh oh oh yeah yeah yeah oh ohoh
Yeah
Could this be the best song ever discussed in 'Best SongEver'?
This is an immense tune but we're not convinced on the yeah yeah yeah front here — it's more of a "therey yeah yeah". Sorry Scherzo. Your song is not the bestever.
Gem — 'She Said Oh Oh Oh I Said Yeah YeahYeah'
Qualifying lyric:
She said oh oh oh, I said yeah yeahyeah
You're not the onlyone..
She said oh oh oh, I said yeah yeahyeah
You're not the onlyone…
She said oh oh oh, I said yeah yeahyeah
She said oh oh oh, I said yeah yeahyeah
She said oh oh oh, I said yeah yeahyeah
Could this be the best song ever discussed in 'Best SongEver'?
This is looking like the front-runner isn'tit.
September — 'Hands Up'
Qualifying lyric:
Just put your hands up, handsup
'Cause we can't get enough, get enough
So put your hands up, handsup
Oh, oh,oh
Now will you dance withme?
Oh,oh
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,yeah
Could this be the best song ever discussed in 'Best SongEver'?
There are two spare yeahs in the last line. Poorshow.
Joey Ramone — 'Rock N Roll Is The Answer'
Qualifying lyric:
Rock’n roll is the answer
Rock’n roll is the answer
Oh, oh,oh
Rock’n roll is the answer
Rock’n roll is the answer
Ohyeah!
Rock and roll…it is the answer!
Rock and roll…is the answer
Yeahyeah!
Ohyeah!
Rock and roll…it is the answer
Rock and roll is the answer
Yeahyeah!
Rock and roll is the answer
Rock and roll yeah yeahyeah!
Could this be the best song ever discussed in 'Best SongEver'?
This, ladies and gentlemen, is a f*cking racket, and is therefore disqualified from any best song ever-related musings.
Outasight — 'Tonight Is TheNight'
Qualifying lyric:
Everybody go whoa, whoa, oh, oh,oh
Whoa, whoa, oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,yeah
Whoa, whoa, oh, oh, oh, whoa, whoa, oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,yeah
Could this be the best song ever discussed in 'Best SongEver'?
Again, too manyyeahs.
One Direction — 'Best SongEver'
Qualifying lyric:
I think it went oh-oh-oh
And I think it went yeah-yeah-yeah
Could this be the best song ever discussed in 'Best SongEver'?
The answer has probably been staring us in the face all along. 'Best Song Ever' might be about a song that contains oh-oh-oh and yeah-yeah-yeah, but by including that song's lyrics inthissong's lyrics, 'Best Song Ever' instantly qualifies for best song ever status. We imagine what probably happened was that One Direction half-recorded an early version of this song, which included the oh-oh-oh and yeah-yeah-yeah bits but didn't have the rest of the chorus lyrics about dancing to the best song ever. After they'd finished in the studio that evening they went to some sort of nitespot and got the DJ to play their demo. They then danced all night to the song.Then the next day they went into the studio and completed the song, filling the gaps with a story about the previous night's activities.
CONCLUSION
'Best Song Ever' is the best songever.
